17. David's biography by Anne Manchester

David William Curtis was a most beautiful baby who shot into this world (his birth at Lower Hutt Hospital was pretty quick) at around the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month of 1983. Immediately his personality seemed evident – determined, positive, energetic, ready to take on the world. He was, above all, my gift to James – I wanted James to have someone to grow up alongside, someone to love and care for, and maybe even to learn from.

He was baptised the following year at Eastbourne’s St Alban’s Anglican Church, with his aunt Catherine and great uncle Colin pledged as his godparents. It was my mother, David’s grandmother, who had suggested the name David, a Hebrew name meaning “beloved”, a most fitting choice.

David, during his all too brief life, brought me great joy and great pain. He was a high spirited, mischievous and very determined child, who delighted, frustrated and exhausted his parents in turn. One of his earliest and fondest memories was eating mince stew for lunch at the Avalon Child Care Centre, which he and James attended in the mornings while I was working part-time for the New Zealand Film Archive. He even appeared in a couple of television commercials during this era, his mop of unruly blond hair and blue eyes making him a very appealing subject.

He and James spent many family Christmas holidays in Christchurch, staying with their granddad, where they enjoyed the summer produce like raspberries, swimming at Jelly Park Pool and pottering about with their granddad in his workshop.

David, aged four, attended the Eastbourne Kindergarten in the mornings. When I began a journalism course at Wellington Polytechnic, my friend Debbie McColl would pick him up after kindy and take him back to Point Howard where David played happily with Sam and little Emily until I picked him up mid-afternoon.

When he was six and James nine, his father Graham and I separated and the two boys lived primarily with me in Eastbourne. They spent a lot of time together -- perhaps their parents’ separation helped them grow closer and become even more dependent on each other. As they grew older, they spent increasing amounts of time with Graham, then living in Moera, often week and week about between both their homes.

David was a boy who challenged authority and pushed boundaries in every field of his life – at home, at school and in the community. Encounters with school principals, the local constable or irate neighbours were reasonably common experiences for me during these years. I often wondered which of the two brothers led the other astray, but James assures me the odds were about even. David would often tell me he was just dumb and I worked so hard to convince him the truth was quite the opposite.

For years, his chief recreation was skateboarding, a passion he shared with his great mate Tom Owers, Scott Duncan and many others. A popular after school activity was gathering with his mates at Muritai School and playing on the skateboard ramps that the local youth worker Chris Casey had helped the “gang” build. Fishing off the Eastbourne Wharf with Stephen Galbreath was another passion and he had a brief flurry with surfing. He showed considerable talent on the soccer field when he played for the Eastbourne soccer club. However, he did not pursue this sport beyond primary school. David rather turned against skateboarding when he fell and broke his arm when he was about 17. His arm was in plaster when he attended Richard and Kuljit’s wedding in Auckland in 2002.
 
David’s only other encounter with Hutt Hospital (except for his birth) happened about aged ten when he was admitted for observation during a dangerous hallucinatory experience after ingesting datura seeds or leaves. This unfortunate incident was orchestrated by James’s less than desirable friend Shaun.

David, like James, tried his hand at a number of after-school jobs. However, he proved to be less conscientious at them than his brother. His first job was delivering newspapers and circulars around Eastbourne, pushing his deliveries around in an old pushchair. I was pleased to see him take on this little job, as he was very keen to increase his pocket money, but I was less delighted when I found many of the newspapers stashed under the house - not great for those expecting their papers nor for the man paying him for the deliveries as well as creating something of a fire hazard. In typical David fashion, he showed little remorse when his delivery technique was sprung. Selective delivery was his method, he told me.

He spent a brief few weeks working at the local butchers shop, but gave this up rather quickly when he discovered an aversion to raw meat. More successful was his time as a trolley boy at Pak ‘N Save in Petone. This time, he was more motivated, taking this job on in preparation for his application for his electrical engineering apprenticeship. He was then keen to show evidence of some work experience.

 
David travelled overseas four times: twice to the United Kingdom with James and Graham when he was nine and 17 (Graham’s wife Michele was there for the second trip). There he met up with his extended Curtis family and got to know London, Worthing and Ross-on-Wye a little. During his first visit to the UK, he and James spent many a happy hour on the pier at Worthing playing on the slot machines. He returned home proudly with a bag of plastic trophies -- key rings and other little toys --  evidence of his success on these machines. He also went to Sydney with Graham and James when he was ten, and to Fiji with me in 2002 where he took much delight in haggling in the market places for souvenirs. He and James also had a number of holidays around New Zealand with me.

He left Hutt Valley High School at the end of the sixth form, having spent that year living entirely with Graham and Michele in Petone, seeming to cut himself off from his Eastbourne life altogether. The following year he began a three-year apprenticeship in electrical engineering with the electrical training company Etco. That same year, Graham and Michele moved to Auckland. David decided to stay on in Wellington and returned to live with me in Eastbourne. He was a diligent apprentice, hardly missing a day’s work. He did a lot of his practical work at the Malvina Major Retirement Village in Kilbirnie and at Parliament during its refurbishment.

However, the job did not give him the job satisfaction he had hoped for and, in 2003, at the age of 19, he decided to join the army as a sapper, a field engineer, encouraged by his friend Shaun Dunlop. I listened sceptically to David as he explained this new idea to me. I truly doubted David, with his rebellious nature and rather too-ready lip, would be able to accept army discipline. But only weeks into his basic training, I realised my doubts were unnecessary. I will never forget the pain of farewelling him at the Wellington Railway Station, as he waited to board the bus to Waiouru, along with the other new recruits. He was awkward and distant and I returned to work upset at our unloving farewell. Within weeks, David was writing me affectionate letters, describing his adventures during his training and telling me how important I was to him. For me, this was the greatest miracle of my life.

David accepted the rigours and discipline of army life with enthusiasm. In fact he once told Bill Owers, Tom’s father, that the best thing about the army was the discipline. I believe the army turned David’s life around. It was his finishing school. The army took over the role of parent and nurtured David into the wonderful, loving, open human being whom so many grew to know, appreciate and admire during the last 15 months of his life. One of his proudest (and perhaps most nerve-wracking) days was “march out” day in December 2003. David had survived his three months’ basic training at Waiouru, had mastered the drill and the army haka, and would soon be on his way to Linton Army Camp to begin his sapper training. Seeing David on the parade ground in his dress uniform, trying hard not to let his platoon down on this special day, was a truly memorable occasion. I am sure Graham, Michele, Catherine and Ariana, who were all there to support him, will never forget it either.

During his time in the army, David discovered who he was and what he wanted for his future. He grew very fit and strong, with a wonderful physique. I had never seen anyone so comfortable in his own skin as David. He healed all the broken relationships in his life, particularly with me. He became my rock, the most loving, helpful and supportive son a parent could wish for. He wanted to be the best brother he could be to James and he continued to be a loyal friend to all his old and new friends. I know he wanted to make my life a little easier in any way he could and I know he looked forward to his relationships with all the members of his family, particularly with James, growing closer as each year went by. He planned a great career in the army and was working hard towards an overseas deployment in the near future. He once said he might consider joining the police force at some stage, a surprising statement considering his contact with the constabulary in his younger years.

In mid-December 2004, David and James stood side by side at their grandfather’s funeral in Christchurch, speaking publicly about what he had meant to them. They looked so handsome and impressed all there with their confidence and co-operation in this sad role as grandsons. We had a very happy family Christmas in Eastbourne and a brief but wonderful holiday with Uncle Colin and his little canine companion Andrew at Lake Ferry between Christmas and New Year. The future looked so bright for us all. How could we ever have imagined that such happiness would be shattered so utterly, that within two days David would be dead, having fallen down a 15-foot bank at a property in Brooklyn, Wellington, where he and James were attending a New Year’s Eve party with some other Eastbourne friends. Only moments before he fell down onto the road where he was killed instantly, he had been sitting on the bank (which was not really a bank at all), chatting to an old friend Reuben Nicolas, telling him about his new life in the army and texting his girlfriend Emma who he was due to meet down town later that evening.

The tragedy of David’s death devastated so many people and has been so terribly hard to accept. I for one always believed I would never be truly happy until I knew David was happy and until our relationship as mother and son was resolved. I thank God and thank David that this miracle came to pass. The wonder of this enables me to live my life as best as I can into the future, sustained by the memories of my dependable, handsome and most loving son.