28. David’s cheeky grin by Doris Marshall (David’s aunt in Worthing)

It was 1993 and my husband David Marshall and I were in charge of James and David for a week while their father Edward (as Graham was known to us) was at an international public service association conference in Finland. He was president of the PSA in New Zealand at that time. David and I had taken a week's holiday so we could look after them.
 

During our week together in and around Worthing, we had some good walks on the South Downs National Park and I remember explaining to David about stinging nettles. David, of course, then had to sting himself to see if it was true. He found it was and we had to hunt for dock leaves pretty smartish to stop the stinging!
 
Then we went to a festival in Worthing on the seafront and David M went with the boys into a giant crane, which shot into the air. David rocked the cradle furiously, making us gasp from our ground view. We also took them to the chalk pits museum in Amberley, where they quite liked the old buses.
 
I found the boys were calmer without their Dad and we soon had a routine going similar to the kind of things we allowed our children to do. David always had a cheeky grin and I can see him now feeling the peaches in the bowl gently to see which one was ready to eat, with permission of course. I allowed them one can of fizzy drink a day and one ice lolly from the freezer in the garage. David also liked going down to the local sweet shop (which he confused me by called a “dairy”) to buy his lollies. But he was wearing braces around his teeth in those days and I wondered how he would get on cleaning his teeth after all those lollies.
 
His Nan and I took the boys to Butlins in Bognor Regis and they had a great time on the go-karts. We also took them to London on the train. Their half-brother Tim Curtis met them at Victoria Station and they spent the day and that night with him, seeing the sights of London. I know they enjoyed their open-topped, double-decker tourist trip around London. Tim brought them back by train the next day and the first thing David said to me, very excitedly, was: “We went everywhere by taxi!”
 
During this week, their Granddad Allan from New Zealand came to stay. He was on another of his grand tours of the UK and Europe. It was lovely for the boys to have him around. David M gave him a bicycle to use so he could get himself around Worthing. He spent time with my mother Doris too and they would go to the park together to watch the bowlers. I also remember the time he took us all to lunch at the Rose and Crown.
 
When Edward returned from Finland, they had one more week with us. He and the boys would often walk into town together, buying burgers from Porkies burger shop on their way home. They said they were the best burgers they had ever had. The shop had closed down on their next trip to the UK six or seven years later.
 
One day, David had had a bit of an argument with his father (as he often did) and he decided to head off on his own. I remember seeing his little blond head streaking past me as he arrived back at the house. A very worried Edward arrived home ten minutes later asking if I had seen David. He was very relieved to know he had got back safely.

27. David stands his ground by Tom Owers

David and I spent heaps of time together when we were at Muritai School. We liked to go skateboarding in Lower Hutt after school or at the weekends, and we stayed at each other’s houses quite often. We were inventive and liked doing new things, but we also got into trouble a lot.
 

I remember one occasion when we were in the old Queensgate and we wanted to get some basketball cards out of a vending machine. We would have been 12 or 13. We had some tweezers and we were trying to trick the machine into giving us the cards. Unfortunately we got apprehended by the police, thrown into the back of a cop car and taken to the Lower Hutt police station.
 

I was impressed at how David stood his ground when the police tried to belittle us, telling us we were losers and would get nowhere in life if we carried on the way we were. David tried to outshine the cops and made a statement saying he would make more money in his lifetime than they would ever make as policemen. I admired that spirit in David. Nothing set him back.
 

We were taken into a kind of holding cell and told to go into the opposite corners and face the wall. They then brought in a dog handler (without his dog) to try and scare us a bit. He was a big, stocky guy, but David wasn’t scared.
 

Eventually, they rang our parents and they came to collect us and take us home.

26. Toughening up Andrew by Anne Manchester

Between Christmas 2004 and New Year, James, David, Uncle Colin and I spent three special nights at a little rented house in Lake Ferry. Fortunately, the landlady agreed Colin’s pampered Pekinese Andrew could come with us, despite her normal “no dogs” policy. I explained to her he was hardly a dog at all.
 

In the days preceding Christmas, James, David and I had been very busy trying to finish the outside painting on the recently restored summer house. As usual Garry the builder had let me down and the whole job had dragged on far too long, hence the last minute painting on the eve of Christmas. David was incredibly willing and hard working, as he had been ever since he joined the army. He had become my rock, someone I could really depend on. When he came down from Linton Army Camp to stay the weekend in Eastbourne, he would often ask me what he could do to help, with tree pruning and some house maintenance fairly regular jobs.
So it was a relief to get that last minute summer house painting behind us and finally set off on our mini holiday. This was going to be a particular treat for Colin who had never been to this part of the Wairarapa Coast, and for James, who was due to head back to the UK in January.  

Again, David was incredibly helpful as we packed and unpacked the car at the other end. As long as I had remembered the tomato sauce, he was happy. He was a man of simple tastes. And he didn’t mind camping out in the living room at night, as there were only three small bedrooms.
 

They were four blissful days, exploring the shoreline and watching the fishermen casting their lines into the sea, then burying their catch in the wet sand to keep it fresh. David was quite convinced Andrew was much too soft and spoilt and very much in need of being toughened up. David himself had been toughened up in the army and it was time Andrew was too. So whenever we went out, David would get Andrew to run beside him. James and David also liked to play vigorous soccer games with him, using a tennis ball. It was quite surprising how Andrew’s tiny legs could sometimes outrun theirs. At the end of the game, the three of them would fling themselves down, panting, on the grass to rest. Colin loved watching the three “boys” play together like this.
 

We also spent a bit of time down at the Lake Ferry Hotel, where James and David had a pint or two and played a bit of pool. They encouraged me to join them at the pool table, which I did for a while, but I was content just to watch them play together, something they hadn’t had the chance to do for quite some time.
 

David was also keen that Andrew should have some new experiences in his life. One was to encounter a seal, so when we visited one of the seal colonies nearby, David carried Andrew with him, bringing him rather close to a baby seal and its mother. Of course, dogs are not allowed near these protected creatures and one man there got rather upset at David’s actions. But, of course, he did not realise Andrew was not really a dog at all, even though he looked suspiciously like one. This fellow and David exchanged a few blunt words on the topic.
 

On the day we visited the Cape Palliser Lighthouse, we had a relaxing picnic by the sea. But it was not long before David was up taking Andrew for a run. When Andrew returned looking rather bedraggled, having been run through several muddy puddles along the way, his doting father was less than amused. But how could a bit of mud hurt a real dog? David asked.

Andrew’s last big adventure that holiday was going out to sea in Bob Buckley’s crayfishing boat , to watch the crayfish pots been hauled up and their crays released onto the bottom of the boat where their pincers, hard shelled bodies and swivelly eyes looked quite menacing as they flapped around at our feet. David held Andrew firmly in his arms, assuring him no harm could come to him and this was all a good experience for him.
 

Later that day, we had a delicious seafood BBQ at the Buckleys where Andrew, assisted by David, got a further experience of the wild coastal and rural lifestyle.
 

On our way home from our little holiday, we called in to see Ian Stewart and Mary McCallum at their Dry Rock olive grove. Mary was impressed at the way David related to her young daughter Issy, talking to her in a respectful and patient way. “Not many young men would bother to do that,” she said to me.
 

But by then, David was anxious to get back to Wellington to meet up with his new girlfriend Emma, so our visit was brief, though memorable.

25. Doing something for other people by James Curtis
 
Dave and I were in a generous mood as we prepared for Christmas 2004. Christmas dinner was going to be at Mum’s that year, with Catherine, Jonathon and Ariana joining us. Uncle Colin was still living with Mum at that stage. We decided to make a joint effort for the family. Doing it together and doing something for other people was fun.
 

We had a relaxing day in town together, planning what we would buy over a beer in the courtyard at the Matterhorn in Cuba St. This has always been one of my favourite Wellington haunts and I wanted to share it with Dave. We agreed we wanted to buy something special for everyone that year, so we put a lot of thought into what each person would like.

I was quite impressed at David’s generosity. He wanted to buy the beers and to be generous. It was part of his reformed character, I guess.

We bought a really big lego set for Ariana, a kind of rescue airport. We knew she loved lego and we probably thought we’d enjoy playing with it too. For Catherine and Jonathon, we bought a milkshake maker and for Nana a luxury white bath towel from her favourite store Kirkcaldie and Stains. We knew how much Uncle Colin liked chardonnay, so choosing something for him was easy.

It was David who suggested we buy Mum a bicycle. He knew she had been talking about getting one for ages. What we did was pay for the bike, then get a voucher which we put in an envelope for her. She seemed pretty touched by this present when she opened it on Christmas Day. Sometime after Christmas we drove into the city to collect the bike, which, rather sensibly, she decided to upgrade into something a bit tougher, so she could cycle down to the Pencarrow Lighthouse without the whole thing falling apart.